Feeling Old…

Stressed-is-Desserts-Magnet-C11750035

Ok, before you all sigh, yes I know I’m only 24 and I’ve got my whole life ahead of me, but nonetheless this year is the year that I really, honestly started to feel old and I wanted to put these thoughts down, as I’m sure I’m not alone in this feeling. It totally sucks, but here are a few things that are making me feel old before I should.

1. Feeling Stressed

Since moving to Greater London in 2011 and officially starting my career, I can officially say that for the first time I’ve encountered stress for the first time and I can say that I certainly don’t cope with it well. Weird thing is that I don’t feel stressed, but it’s been really presenting itself in other ways. Last Winter stress triggered my skin to start behaving in a weird way, I’ve got really bad spots for the first time ever and nothing is budging them, they come and go, but it all stems from stress. I’ve been to the doctors more times than ever before for niggly things, I’ve not solved them all yet, but I have a big feeling that they are also stress related.

Did you know that feeling stressed causes a release of cortisol into the skin, prolonged increase in cortisol are shown to increase the chances of your body presenting problems. So, for example if you are prone to oily skin, being stressed and having too much cortisol in your system over a period of time will cause your oily skin to become oilier, the same thing can apply to any other skin condition or illness.

It’s really difficult to deal with stress, I don’t really know where to start with this one, I know that feeling less stressed will help my other problems, but when my skin and health are part of the reasons why I’m feeling stressed it’s a bit annoying.

2. Don’t Know What to Wear

I’ve always gone through phases of not knowing what to wear, as I’ve ranted before I find it really hard to buy clothes for lots of reasons, but right now I’m just in a really bad mood with my wardrobe, almost at a point that I just want to get rid of everything and start again. It’s not nice. I don’t know if this problem is actually about me feeling old or a continuation of the frustration of finding it hard to shop for the types of clothes that I want to wear.

Clothes are important, they are a way to express yourself, enhance your confidence and to make you feel comfortable. So although sometimes it sounds like a stupid, girly thing to be bothered about, I think it’s quite important to any woman.

3. Next Steps

So, despite being only 24, I’ve been married for two years and with hubby for nearly 8 years! Our closest friends have just had their first child and there are lots of babies in the family now, the thought that realistically we could be next is actually starting to terrify me! Although I really want children, I really don’t think we’re ready, I want to buy a house first and that alone seem a distant dream!

By 24, my parents owned a house, got married and had their first child and that was normal. Now, I don’t see when that’s going to happen for our generation, what happened there then?

 

When did you first start feeling old?

Do you recognise some of the feelings above?

Comment, share or tweet me @JayneJRead

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11 thoughts on “Feeling Old…

  1. I always get spots when I’m stressed! It’s so annoying, as getting spots makes me more stressed and it turns into a vicious cycle!
    I definitely feel old – I’m 25 and starting to favour nights in over nights out!! So many people I went to school with are engaged/married/pregnant/have multiple children, it’s very scary and makes me wonder where the time has gone!x

    1. I’m also wondering where the time has gone! Agreeing with the vicious circle thing too. I’ve never liked nights out, so I don’t feel like I missed out there, but I know where you are coming from.

  2. I have a different attitude towards clothes at work and for me, they are definitely not a way to express myself. In fact, I wish I had a uniform at work and not having to worry at all, ever. I know that i will feel the pressure when there is, say, a blogger’s meet up (i find them even more scary than old friends reunion type of stuff), dates and what not but my life would be so much simpler if I could just roll to work in the same thing all the time: tracksuit bottoms for the win, lol x

    1. It really is ridiculous how much time women spend worrying about what other people will think of their clothes, it does my nut in. We should wear what we like without the worry, I’m finding it hard because I can’t actually find clothes to buy that I feel happy in. The high street is so restrictive!

  3. Jayne, first of all I am more than twice your age but here’s my take on things. When I was your age I also recall being stressed all of the time about things going on in my own life and things going on in other people’s lives, I felt that I had to compete with my friends, family etc, I felt under an immense amount of pressure to have children from the moment I was married. In the end I had my first of four children a year later. I never had anything to wear, was stressing about what I didn’t have but didn’t actually know what I wanted. It wasn’t until I got to 40 that I decided to stop stressing and do what I wanted to do and not do what I was expected to do. In the last 12 years I have achieved both of the careers I wanted to do as a child, I have just signed up to do an Open University Degree. I regret all of the time I spent stressing when I was younger and I am sorry that it took me so long to start pleasing myself and just enjoy life. I agree that I felt older in my 20’s and 30’s than I do now, I also feel much more confident and comfortable in my own skin than I ever did when I was younger. I hope you can find a happy medium in your life, and there lies the key, ‘it’s your life’ and you need to do what makes you happy to keep the stress at bay 🙂 Jude xx @jadlgw

    1. Thanks for the comment Jude, I think its important to realise that moments of stress or feeling down are usually short lived, things always get better. I think personally, I just need to find time for myself so that stress doesn’t bother me so much. I’m booking a facial tomorrow!

  4. Hey Jayne, I can really relate to what you’re saying (am 27, married 4.5 years). I think it is quite stressful atm for our generation & younger ones. Nowadays ppl live further from family, don’t have a job for life, can’t afford houses & owe thousands to The Student Loan Company!

    I also feel that there’s a lot of pressure on women in particular to have it all…perfect home, looks, relationships, career, & happy children. I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about this stuff & talking with my girlfriends & I don’t think it’s possible to have it all, all at the same time. So, give yourself a break. I’m trying to not be so hard on myself too. We’re trying to save & plan for the future without getting suer-stressed about the lack of control we have on things that could happen. I have to stop & remind myself how blessed we are to be happily married, healthy, in jobs we love, with a loving family at the end of the phone. I keep being reminded to appreciate the moment…my faith helps a lot…I keep reminding myself to let go of the past & leave the future with God.

    Also – don’t feel bad about being nervous about having kids. The idea also terrified me at 24, now at 27 (nearly 28) it still makes me very nervous but it’s becoming more of something I’m excited about happening (one day after I’m 29). A lot of my friends with kids say they were still terrified even when they planned to get pregnant. They say you’re never totally ready but there is ‘right time’.

    I always thought when you became an adult, you’d feel grown-up. I hear that doesn’t happen. My 50 year old friends feel 17 still…that’s not necessarily a bad thing though I think ;D

  5. I got the old feeling when I turned 26 – like I felt like I was approaching 30 and there was nothing I could do about it lol

    Also got bad skin at 24 – bummmer since I managed to escape it in my teens. I’m 30 now and after having tried the medication route a lot, I’m finding that regular exercise, a balanced diet and not overusing products on my skin is helping. – I think the diet thing is key! Exercise is also amazing for stress! It’s sometimes the last thing you want to do, but it really makes a difference to how you feel. Even 15mins of high intensity helps.

    Nip stress in the bud as soon as you can. Make an effort to do things you enjoy. Again a healthy lifestyle helps. make sure you have goals to focus on and try new things to improve confidence. I’ve learnt that not doing these things can lead to anxiety! Check out Mindfulness – I’m really into this at the minute, it’s about thinking differently to how we are trained to pack so much into our lives.

    As for babies – the average age people get married is like 32 now. I don’t think we can compare ourselves to our parents generation, it’s just so different. Women pursue careers before they settle etc. You’ll know in your own time when it’s right. I’ve just turned 30 and I still feel like I’m not ready, but I’m hoping in the next year or two 🙂

    Oh and these scary feelings will pass! And will come back again lol

    I was thinking of doing a post on my blog about coping with anxiety – well how I managed it anyway!

  6. I can relate to this. I am terrible at dealing with stress and I definitely feel old before my time. I turned 30 this year and while my friends are still going out and enjoying themselves, I’d prefer to stay home and watch a film (or blog).
    I stress about my familiy’s health, work, money, my body! Literally I’m a natural worrier and stress about everything.
    This is probably why I’e had bad skin for years too.
    I’m also not very good at managing my stress so I can’t really offer any sound advice i’m afraid. I even got stressed at yoga yesterday and that is supposed to help?!
    I think Jude has touched upon the right attitude to have though and do things that make you happy and don’t worry too much about others.
    Unfortunatly I can’t do this at the moment, my Mom & Dad are both in ill health so I feel guilty (which leads to more stress) if I go over to see them as often as I can.
    I do sometimes feel like my time is never my own though, which in turn makes me feel even more guilty (and stressed) for feeling that way!
    No win situation!
    Hope you manage to find something to help manage your stress better so you can start feeling young again x

  7. Good post- I’ve been stressing about age since my early twenties. I still *feel* about 21, although I’ll be 30 in a year and a half. I struggle because all my friends are coupled up, living with partners and in solid careers (mostly earning decent money.) I’m still struggling to make a real breakthrough with my writing and living at home. I have no boyfriend and people keep asking me ‘when are you going to get married and have babies?’ It’s not that I don’t want to, it’s just that life’s working out a little differently to how I’d planned!
    Understand where you’re coming from on the clothes front, although I’m too poor to shop anyway at the moment! Just keeping my fingers crossed things will work out long-term.
    And for you my advice would be to worry less, it sounds like everything is going pretty well (apart from the stress) and you have plenty of time for kids. Just take time out for you (not blogging/working) when you can. It’ll make you feel better. xx

  8. Thos post has reminded me hpw much stress can affect your skin and maybe this is why my skin has been playing up so much. I’ve been very stressed ever ince.graduating from uni last summer with the fact that I have struggled so much to get a proper job. Like you, I don’t really feel stressed but when I stop and think about it, the stress is definitely presenting in other ways. My skin is up the wall, I don’t sleep well and coming into A/W I can feel the SAD-depression creeping in – yay! I think I am going to take this weekend to indulge and pamper myself.
    , yhink about my career and where I am headed and maybe get myself down the dr’s for some yummy sleeping pills! In all honesty though, life is like this, at tines it gets tough and a bit difficult, but that can be a good thing. I hope you feel better just from writing this post.

    Steph xx

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