Ch…ch…Changes…

Stupid blog post title, I know. Couldn’t resist. And here’s my inspiration…

So, I’ve not blogger properly for ages, so just wanted to do a quick blog post to let you know what it going on with me, as there’s been a lot going on. I’m not usually one to overshare or post about personal stuff on here, but you know what, lots of things are changing right now,  I think it’s ok. So basically, I’ve been off the radar for a bit because I separated with my husband a few months ago, we’d been together for 9 years, since we were 16 and married for three. We basically grew up together. So naturally, that’s changed my whole life over a very short period of time. Yes, it’s sad and difficult to deal with sometimes, but really, it’s an opportunity. For the first time in a very long time I’ve been doing things entirely for myself instead of thinking about someone else. I’m just about to start the divorce paperwork, so can confidently say that it’s the end of that era.

I cut my hair into a fringe, dyed it orange, started wearing brighter clothes and make up. Started listening to my own music choices again, watching what I wanted on television, eating what I wanted. For the first time in a very long time I feel like myself again. I didn’t realise at the time how much I had adapted to the situation, but right now I realise that I had changed and I needed to get back to being myself. Right now, I feel amazing about myself.

Being with the same person since the age of 16 also meant that I had never really dated, so I’ve gotten myself into online dating and have been dating for the first time ever, which is proving a lot of fun. I don’t know what will happen, but at least I’ll have fun. Everyone I’ve met has been interesting, so even if nothing else comes of anything, I’ve met some interesting potential friends.

For the past 7 years or so I haven’t been much of a drinker, I don’t really know why but it’s never really been for me. I’ve not been a frequent pub or bar goer and had never been in a club, ever. I used to go to gigs, but I see that in a different category. So, since splitting with hubby, I’ve had my first ever vodka shot and last night under the influence of London Beauty Queen and Stu Bradley I spent a wonderful night in Soho, I drank my first Jagerbomb and was dancing like a complete fool to Spice Girls, Bieber and Lady Gaga in a gay night club. I honestly never thought I would be doing that, yet I had so much fun. I feel like I’ve broken out of my shell and that I can be adventurous and not worry as much as I used to.

I started a new job recently, with amazing brands and amazing people and I’m very happy there too. So basically, although this all stems from something very sad, it’s ultimately been an excellent change which has made me a stronger, happier and more confident person. I don’t have any regrets about my past, but wanted to take this opportunity to be open with my readers and share with you a few thing that I’ve learnt.

Don’t change for anyone, be yourself and the version of yourself that makes you happy, if someone doesn’t like it, they aren’t worth being with. You can’t change the past, so don’t regret it, everything becomes part of you and helps you grow, so see the positives in all the mistakes you may have made. Seize the day, if you want to do something, do it! Don’t make excuses and don’t be afraid, you’ll have more fun that way.

photojayne

I’ll be back to blogging properly soon, but just wanted to put that out there and let you know where I’m at. 

Follow me on Twitter, Instagram and Vine as @JayneJRead for daily updates 🙂

You might also like:

Share and Enjoy

4 thoughts on “Ch…ch…Changes…

  1. Hey lovely! What a great positive post. An incredibly similar thing happened to me in September. My boyfriend of 4 years and I split – we lived together for 3 years and I was in the midst of getting everything ready to move out to where he lives in the Caribbean when we graduated. I even had a job secured.

    As soon as we split I realised what a toxic relationship it had been – and how I really hadn’t been myself. I cut a fringe too, started listening to my own music and really being myself and I’ve never felt happier or more confident. It’s amazing the empowerment you get when you can accept that it’s over and make it into a positive thing. I have a new boyfriend now, and taking lessons I’ve learned over the last 9 months I can honestly say I’m super happy and I’m still well and truly myself in my new relationship.

    Good luck with everything you do from now on, I can guarantee you’re going to have so much fun! I know I have been. Looking forward to reading more posts from you – I get them delivered by email so I always read, just rarely comment x

  2. I’ve been there myself so I know exactly how you feel. I’m so pleased your seeing this as a positive change. It certainly sounds like your doing wonderfully on your own.

    Ali x

  3. Hi Jayne,

    Thanks for sharing that! I know this message is a few months late, but I just wanted to say I admire you for sharing that.

    I was in a relationship for 5 years, from the age of 18! When we split up at first I found it difficult to cope, like I had lost apart of me – my left arm! When I was with my ex, I couldn’t think of being with anyone else! .

    But as months went on, like you, I started doing things for me. Instead of cutting a fringe I got my nose pierced! I went on holidays, and watched the movies I wanted. I spent a lot of time with my girls, and had fun dating. I had a blast!

    I am with another man and now we are married! Life is great, I am in my late 20’s and I really feel like I have lived a great single life. My husband doesn’t try to change me or make me like/dislike the things he does. We are b now trying for a baby, it all feels right.

    I honestly would not have met him if the other changes didn’t take place. Life takes you to some strange dark places sometimes, as they say there is light at the end of the tunnel.

    Enjoy your freedom! You look beautiful btw.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *