Following on from the super lame New Year’s Resolutions post which was mega clichéd and predictable I thought I’d write another personal post about something new that’s going on in my life, weight gain!
Gaining Weight for the First Time
For as long as I can remember I’ve pretty much been the same shape and size, a year ago I was a large size 8 and pear shaped. At 5’11 I’m pretty lucky that the height makes me look even slimmer, so have almost always been pretty confident about my body, yes my bum and thighs have always been chunky but I was proud of my naturally flat tummy and small boobs. I’ve been very fortunate that I’ve been able to pretty much eat anything and not worry about my shape because I’d consistently stay the same.
Right now I’m the biggest I’ve ever been at a large size 12, but I’ve fluctuated all of a sudden over the past three months. None of my favourite clothes fit me any more, I’ve gone to mass eBaying almost everything in my wardrobe and I’ve had to chuck out all of my bras and replace them with two cup sizes bigger. It’s pretty crap not having anything to wear. After years of expressing my hate for leggings I’m now living in them teamed with baggy jumpers and band tees, I don’t hate how I dress but I don’t feel like I wear what I like, like I used to and now see the appeal of aforementioned leggings.
The weight gain could be a result of many things and I’ve not sussed it out yet. It could be that I’m just getting older and my body isn’t metabolising as well as it used to, it could be a side effect from changes in meds recently, it could be lack of physical activity since going freelance. Or it could just be a huge combination of everything, I’m not sure.
Either way, it’s put me in a position I’ve never been in before, so thought it would be worth writing it down in the hopes that it will clear my head and lead me to a solution and hopefully lend a hand to anyone who is in a similar dilemma.
Possible Solutions (Do I even need a solution?)
Part of me is sad because the weight gain means that I don’t feel like myself and my wardrobe of clothes that I’ve had for YEARS no longer fits me and the idea of shopping for new clothes makes me physically ill, the High Street is not my friend, but that’s another story all together. Part of me is not surprised, because no one in my family is super skinny, so it feels more natural for me to be this size, I definitely don’t look bad I just feel weird.
Anyway, here’s the solutions and some of the problems I face, let me know what you think and if you have any advise.
During this time of year fad diets and weight loss schemes are EVERYWHERE. I don’t think they are for me, I love food too much and truly believe that you can enjoy everything in moderation when it comes to grub. I’m sure these work for lots of people but I just don’t want to run my life by rules of some diet program. I think I’ll start considering options more instead, we’ll see what happens. I’ve definitely become better with food over the past year, a lot less fussy than I used to be and enjoy cooking more, I even eat salads sometimes now!
When I had a normal job I used to get a lot of exercise walking around London, I used to walk to work from Shoreditch to Oxford Street at one point and almost every office I’ve worked in has had tons of stairs, so that always helped. Now that I work solely from home, the most walking I do is from the bed to the sofa and from here to the shop to buy food. It’s not good and since we’ve bought a car even LESS walking occurs.
A couple of years ago I used to go to dance classes every week, at my peak I was doing three hours of dance a week, I really loved the school I went to and it was perfect for me, I’m really struggling to find anything that matches it. I don’t have any motivation to exercise unless what I’m doing it fun and don’t particularly like being in a routine, so that makes it difficult to find the motivation to go out and spend the money on doing something. Me and Miz are going to start going Bouldering and Swimming together on a regular basis, so hopefully that will kick start some good habits!
Just Deal with It
Or, do I just face the fact that I’m now this size and get used to it? I’m not overweight and definitely don’t look odd, I’m just not used to it and am struggling with dressing and having a tummy and stretch marks that weren’t there before. There’s tons of girls size 16 and beyond and everything shape and size, who look amazing in everything they wear and it’s because they are comfortable in their own skin and confident in how to present themselves. I think this is the key for me, because even if I do exercise or diet, I doubt I’ll be back to exactly how I used to be, I need to rediscover my body confidence and then go from there.
I’ll keep you updated!
What do you think? Do you have an advise to share?
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