The ordeal of me putting on weight for the first time ever continues. After my last post, I thought I was over it. I’d settled on the fact that I have put on weight, whatever the reasons and was starting to feel like myself (just plumper) but then the weather started changing and I started wanting to wear pretty dresses and skirts with my vast collection of tights again and it’s just not happening.
Dress after dress, none of them fit me. I think I have ONE that’s OK, the rest there’s absolutely no way I can wear them. Even some of my tights won’t go past my knees,WTF is that about? T-shirts I’ve had for years pop up over my tummy when I start to wear them, sex-eh!
I’m not going to be one of those to obsess over diet and exercise to get back to where I was as I’m pretty sure most of my shape was down to meds and not drinking for so many years, plus I’m sat here eating Pop Tarts for breakfast so I don’t think that’s going to stop anytime soon. So, I’m now attempting to clear out my wardrobe and it’s making me feel like shit. I love dressing in my own style and buying nice clothes I’ve got things I’ve had for nearly 10 years that I would still wear now if they fit me. And now there’s pretty much no point me keeping hold of these things as I don’t think I’m going to get back into them anytime soon and they are just making me sad and taking up space that needs to be filled with stuff that does fit me.
I’m pretty much living in jeans (I have two pairs that fit me)and baggy t-shirts with the occasional printed leggings thrown in (which I’m not really loving too much right now). I might as well just get rid of everything and just wear Miz’s clothes because that’s what it looks like most of the time. I miss my goddamn dresses! I wish it was as simple of clicking a switch and increasing the size of everything, but no, I’m just going to have to buy new stuff and that costs money which I don’t have spare right now. And it’s not just about money because even if I had a £1000 to spend on clothes today I still wouldn’t know what to buy, the things I normally wear just wouldn’t work now, I need to start from scratch and with my lack of body confidence right now the thought of attempting to fit into high street clothes in a busy changing room, not really knowing what size I am, makes me want to cry. I feel fat and not like myself.
So yea, if you want to lend a hand and help me feel better and buy pretty dresses again soon pop to my Depop account and pick up a few of my beloved fashion items. Or if you can’t help in that way, can anyone share any advise? It’s really getting me down.
RANT OVER. Send help fast.