I’ve had a bit of a weird day today visiting London Edge I’ll try and blog about it at a later date, but right now I want to have a bit of a ramble. I finally got to meet Perelandra of Pamper and Curves today and she’s inspired my to write this blog after it’s been lurking in my brain for a bit. In Perelandra’s talk today she started by talking about how when she had her first child it changed her body and made her feel like she’s lost her style identity, this is obviously a common thing to happen to women and even though I’m not with child (although someone did ask me if I was recently, LOL) or likely to be anytime soon, I can totally relate to this sentiment.
I’ve always been fairly slim usually size 8-10 and always invested in nice clothes knowing that I’d have them forever. However, after coming off some meds a bit over a year ago I started to change shape for the first time since being a teenager. I’ve written about this weight change in another post if you want to read more of that side of things.
Since changing shape I’ve had a constant struggle with what to wear, I’m in the process of selling my entire wardrobe having settled on the idea that I’m probs just the size I’m supposed to be now and it’s unlikely I’m going to change anytime soon. It’s been pretty emotional getting rid of some of those clothes as they were kind of my identity, I’ve always enjoyed dressing up and being creative with my look so when I started to get rid of things I did have a bit of a cry, it was like I was selling my identity, my personal style and a whole bunch of awesome memories. I’m sorry if that sounds pathetic, but hopefully some of you can relate.
I don’t have the disposable income I used to have either so it’s not a simple case of just going out and getting new stuff, I can’t afford to shop like I used to and even if I did have some spending money I’m now not so sure what size I am or what styles suit me. Trying on clothes tends to just stress me out and upset me, I don’t feel comfortable with my body shape right now and it’s causing me a little bit of stress and is taking a strain on my confidence too. I have a few outfits that I really like, but I really feel like I’m wearing the same combo everyday.
I think another problem I’m having is that because my lifestyle has changed and I spend a big chunk of time working from home and without the need for even getting dressed properly or putting make up on, I’ve gotten a little lazy with my style which also adds to this lost feeling. I still make an effort when we go somewhere, but I kind of feel like I’m still a bit stuck. I miss feeling glamorous and quirky with my look, so much of the time now I feel like I’m basically dressing like a boy which then conflicts with the make up looks I like to wear and this was never intentionally a look I was seeking.
I’m getting back into wearing more dresses and skirts which make me feel more feminine, but without the time and money to shop or make new bits I’m pretty much living with about three different combos and it won’t be long until I’m bored to death of these outfits too. I know I still get compliments on my style and outfits, which makes me smile but really what you guys see on my social media and blog is me at my very best and when I’ve put the thought out effort into my look, that’s about 5% of the entire of my life.
Now, I’m wondering where I’m going with this blog post, as I’ve just rambled for a bit. I guess, what I’d like to know is if anyone has any advise or similar experiences that they’d like to share that might inspire me to progress in this little journey of trying to rediscover my style identity and learning to love my new body shape, whatever it might be right now.